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All 22 game Reviews


House of Tards House of Tards

Rated 5 / 5 stars

I failed both minigames as Hillary (winning both as Trump), and she still managed to pull through with more votes in the debate. This game must be rigged(!)

Good game - fun to play, and well presented. I liked the minigame intermissions, especially the basket of deplorables one with the image of giant menacing Hillary looming in the background.

And it's especially refreshing to see a 2016 election themed submission Newgrounds that lays into Hillary for a change.



Taxi INC. Taxi INC.

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

The reviewer below me said this game is very similar to the crab game, and I agree. In fact, it was the music that gave me a sense of deja vu. Sure enough, I check your games, and there's the crab game.

Same music, same layout and very similar achievements (with slight variations) - including the one where you have to purchase 40 (50 in the other one) top upgrades which get exponentially more expensive. A single upgrade from 14 to 15 taxis costs $27295.

The beauty of idle games like Cookie Clicker or Clicker Heroes is that there are more passive bonuses and further upgrades to increase the clicks per second. But with this, when I spend all of my money on a taxi upgrade, I get an exponentially smaller return. In a better designed clicker game, at this point, I'd move onto a stronger upgrade that will offer better click per second for cash spent.

This does not make for a fun clicker game. I dread to think how long it would take me to achieve the final medal, so that's where I'll stop playing.

As for the presentation, it could have done with some animation - mindlessly clicking on a taxi to simulate a taxi business is a bit unimaginative.


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gentleman dreamer gentleman dreamer

Rated 1 / 5 stars

When, oh when are you going to stop milking this dead cow.

It looks and sounds terrible, and leaves the impression that it was hastily put together to reap sponsorship money with that advert API.

The controls are imprecise and should have been keyboard based.

The music - a terrible pastiche of Gangnam Style got irritating fast.

The graphics were lazy and in some cases, reused from earlier movies. I say that because I do remember playing this game earlier in the year, but it's since been removed. The character sprite appears in no less than 3 other games (2 if you ignore the blatant double submission of "Psy Gentleman in Red Carpet" and "Oppa Gangnam Red Carpet"), so maybe it's time to draw some new sprites.



Roar Rampage Roar Rampage

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

Fun and well designed. I may buy it on the app store myself.

This version could have done with a fullscreen mode though, and the window size is a bit off.


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SANDY HOOKS SHOOT EM UP SANDY HOOKS SHOOT EM UP

Rated 0 / 5 stars

You're lucky you're hiding behind the Internet, because if you exressed these views in public, you'd get punched - and rightly so.


ZabuJard responds:

good thing there is an internet to hide behind then i guess.


Monkey Puzzles Monkey Puzzles

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Why on earth is this on Newgrounds? There are no 6 year olds here to appreciate an educational game like this - at least there shouldn't be as per the site rules.

The game isn't bad at all. It is completely wasted on me though, but I can acknowledge you did well with the presentation and content. The music is a bit repetitive, but a child playing the game wouldn't really worry about deeper game design issues like that.

The levels did repeat a bit, but I can understand that wouldn't matter too much - keep it simple for the intended audience.

Finally, the project size doesn't match the published dimensions, meaning during play, the title screen graphics can still be seen. It's not a game breaker, but it is sloppy. It does suggest you just yanked the file from its original home and put it here without changing the publishing settings, but the question remains, why did you bother?



save the queen save the queen

Rated 2 / 5 stars

Needs music, needs better graphics, needs sound effects, needs more levels, needs more polish.

But good effort


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litezeo responds:

okay. i'll work on that in my next games. thanks for your advices.


Brain Buffet Brain Buffet

Rated 3 / 5 stars

I upgraded my speed to maximum and now I can't move.

Otherwise, the game was O.K - It was quite fiddly, but it kept me playing up to a point.



The Brawl - Ep.3 The Brawl - Ep.3

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Just let me punch Bieber, please.

I found it annoying how the fight is constantly broken up so I can hear a little quip from Bieber. Sometimes, he's taunt me twice in quick succession.

As for the controls, it was hard to keep my mouse focused on the screen if I wanted to do wide punches. In the end, I just clicked my mouse to victory. I understand block cannot be tied to the RMB, but why can't it be tied to a key like SHIFT? Because on top of the wonky controls, it made the game difficult to play with style.



Fantasy Online Fantasy Online

Rated 3 / 5 stars

A not entirely offensive game - in terms of locked off content (compared to a certain other game submitted to the portal in the last week).

A nice online RPG, but unfortunately, most of the quests I've come up against so far involve either killing X numbers of beasts or killing X numbers of beasts and then picking up Y amounts of loot that they drop.

In terms of enforced playtime, there is a mechanic whereby after exerting yourself for too long, you lose stamina and need to rest. Again, you can choose to purchase credits that will allow you to continue playing, but to be honest, I've never experienced such an event, and have been able to play for a protracted length of time - at least to be able to get a handle on the game itself.

I very much doubt it's a game I'd want to play though, because as I said, those quests can get pretty tedious.

But taking a step back and explaining how the game works, beginning on an island completely in the buff, you explore your surroundings and meet up with NPCs and take on quests. Partaking in said quests reward you with a trickle of cash (at my point in the game, about 15 gold per enemy) and various drops that you can equip, sell or trade (presumably in an intergrated player market). Completing quests reward you with various items or a sum of cash.

Combat is a matter of clicking an enemy to highlight it and then clicking again to engage it. Both parties beat each other until the other one dies or either retreats. With movement being point and click based, there are often moments where you might find yourself walking right up to your target instead of atacking. Skills can be obtained and either applied to grant various buffs and boosts or an in battle skill, such as heal techniques or an attack in exchange for a small amount of "TP" or energy.

As is to be expected with an MMO, there are a variety of shops and services your character can visit. These shops stock the usual fare - shields, canes and greaves, along with various, more desirable items only obtainable with the game's currency - gems. You begin with 5 single gems, but that from what I've played so far, that won't get you anything at all. Least of all a "standard pickaxe" that will allow you to raise gold coins the good old fashioned way.

Gems can be obtained in the usual manner - paying for them with real world cash, or interestingly, by paying a player through the player market for a "Gem Note" that can be redeemed. These notes are priced at around 500,000 gold coins for 20 gems and 2,500,000 gold coins for 100. Needless to say, they are a bit beyond my budget at the moment, and this can only get worse as players seek to profit from the need for gems. The current gem per dollar ratio ranges from 21 gems per dollar to 25 gems per dollar (approx). The touted "best value" deal comes with various presumably expensive in game items. That pickaxe mentioned earlier costs 10 Gems (though you start with a complimentary 5).

And that's pretty much it. You explore the world (divided up into several areas - areas which are locked off until you achieve a certain level), take on quests, battle monsters, pick up loot and sell it to the shops for more coin. I haven't found anything that resembles a main quest line yet, but the game does a pretty good job of leading you around the map as you take on the many tasks for the locals.

As for the presentation, the game is styled like a SNES RPG with simple but well done sprites, and the UI is relatively intuitive and complete, although the peaceful music that plays throughout my entire experience (there is no other incidental or battle music mind you or even sound effects) fits very well.

While this game is still supposedly in BETA, and you can expect to see marked improvements to the aformentioned areas, in it's current state (and from what I can bear to play at them moment - please prove me wrong in the reviews section if this is not the case), it seems relatively shallow. Nethertheless, it's a well made game, an acceptable example of a p2p game that a scrooge like myself can still enjoy.


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